the czar's page

Ask me anything   Submit   I am Nickolai. I love. I lust. I sloth. I am slow to anger. Im moody. I laugh. I make people happy. I criticize. Im material. A living oxymoron. A paradox. I am of many things. Indulge in what I like and in what I despise, products of my thoughts and that of others.

"Sometimes, late at night, visited by dread and shame, I lie in bed and think of somebody else’s life.
I imagine the love that they’re getting and the relief that comes from being really known.
The private pleaseures they share, the friends they have and the pressures they don’t.
Their sense of importance, the satisfaction of their work.
I imagine how fulfilled they are, how rich their life is.
And these moments, I feel EMPTY and WANTING."
Enlightened
— 5 months ago